Bite Me: A Love Story Chapter 4

4. Farewell Love Lair BEING THE JOURNAL OF ABBY NORMAL, Triumphant Destroyer of Vampyre Kitties I sob, I brood, I lament I have sniffed the unpleasant pink Sharpie of depression and mascara tears stripe my cheeks like a significant piece of bit up dark Gummi bears has been loogied in my eyes. Life is a dim pit of agony and I am distant from everyone else, isolated from my sweetheart scrumptious Foo. Be that as it may, check it-I completely kicked ass against a posse of vampyre kitties. Believe it or not, kitties, which means many. No longer does the gigantic shaved vampyre feline Chet tail the City alone; he has been joined by numerous littler and un-shaved vampyre felines, a considerable lot of which I went to kitty toast with my most fly daylight coat. Directly outside our space, they were assaulting that insane Emperor fellow and his mutts and I spared them by running out into the road and hitting the lights. It was unadulterated techo-gore, blood all over the place, and a little Japanese person with a samurai blade doing the genuine Ginsu on the kitties as they assaulted. I realize what you are thinking. Ninja, please†¦ I know, OMFGZORRO! A samurai in Sucker-Free City! I didn't attempt to persuade the cops when they came. They were all, â€Å"What up?† What's more, I was all, â€Å"Nothing.† What's more, they were all, â€Å"What's all this?† Pointing to the blood and steaming kitty cinders and so forth. What's more, I was all, â€Å"Don't know. Ask him. I simply heard some clamor so I came out to check it out.† So they asked the Emperor and he attempted to disclose to them the entire story, which was a slip-up yet he's sort of crazy, so you need to offer him a reprieve. However, they put him in the vehicle at any rate and removed him and his mutts, despite the fact that it was absolutely clear that they knew what his identity was and were simply being dicks about the entire thing. Everybody knows the Emperor. That is the reason they consider him the Emperor. ‘Kayso, Foo at last got back home and I bounced into his arms and kind of rode him to the ground with a huge tongue kiss so profound that I could taste the consumed cinnamon toast of his spirit, yet then I slapped him, so he didn't think I was a skank. (Quiet down, he had wood.) What's more, he was all, â€Å"Stop doing that, I don't believe you're a slut!† What's more, I was all, â€Å"Yeah, well at that point how could you realize that is the reason I slapped you, and where the fuck have you been, my frantic, manga-haired love monkey?† Sometimes it's ideal to reverse the situation and begin posing inquiries when your contention sucks ass. I discovered that in Introduction to Mass Media class. Also, Foo's everything, â€Å"Busy.† Also, I'm similar to, â€Å"Well you missed my gallant warrior-darling assault.† And I, as, revealed to him the entire thing and afterward I stated, â€Å"So, presently there's a ton of vampyre felines. What's going on with that, nerdslice?† Which is a pet name I have for Foo when alluding to his frantic science abilities. Also, he's everything, â€Å"Well, we realize that there must be a trade of blood from the vampyre to its casualty before the casualty bites the dust, else it just goes to dust.† What's more, I'm similar to, â€Å"So Chet's sufficiently keen to know that?† Also, Foo's everything, â€Å"No, except if a feline's chomped, what's the regular thing for it to do?† Also, I'm all, â€Å"Hey, I'm posing the inquiries here. I am the manager of you, you know?† Furthermore, Foo absolutely overlooks me, and he's everything, â€Å"They chomp back. I think Chet is changing different felines by accident.† â€Å"But he depleted that stopping cop and she didn't turn.† â€Å"She didn't chomp him back.† Also, I'm all, â€Å"I knew that.† Furthermore, Foo resembles, â€Å"There could be several them.† Furthermore, I'm all, â€Å"And Chet drove them here. To us.† Furthermore, Foo's everything, â€Å"He denoted this as his region before the old vampyre turned him. He considers this to be his place. The flight of stairs despite everything smells like feline pee.† What's more, I'm similar to, â€Å"That's not all.† What's more, Foo's everything, â€Å"What? What?† What's more, I thoroughly slip into my dim fancy woman voice and I'm all, â€Å"Chet has changed. He's bigger.† What's more, Foo's everything, â€Å"Maybe his jacket has quite recently developed back.† Furthermore, I'm all dismal like, â€Å"No, Foo, he's despite everything shaved, except he's significantly greater, and I think-† I stopped. It was emotional. What's more, Foo resembles, â€Å"Tell me!† I kind of blacked out all emotional into his arms. Also, he completely got me like the dull saint of the fields that he is, yet then he harshed the sentimental show, all things considered, by stimulating me and going, â€Å"Tell me, let me know, tell me.† So I did, on the grounds that I was near peeing myself, and I'm absolutely not into that sort of thing. â€Å"I think we need to stress over the little samurai fellow turning, which would not be acceptable, as he is full boss, notwithstanding his profoundly moronic cap and socks.† Also, Foo was all, â€Å"Did he chomp them?† Also, I was all, â€Å"He was all out shrouded in vampyre kitty blood. Perhaps a few drops got in his mouth. Ruler Flood said he inadvertently diverted that blue ho from one kiss on the wicked lips.† What's more, Foo resembles, â€Å"Well we have to discover him, at that point. Abby, we will be unable to deal with this. We need help.† And he's all gesturing to the sculpture of the Countess and Lord Flood. What's more, I'm all, â€Å"Do you know the main thing that will occur on the off chance that we let them out?† Also, Foo's everything, â€Å"Jody will thoroughly kick our asses.† Also, I'm similar to, â€Å"Oui, mon love, epic ass-kickings pour toi and moi. Be that as it may, you recognize what's even scarier?† Also, Foo's everything, â€Å"What? What? What?† Because French makes him distraught. So I'm similar to, â€Å"You still have wood!† And I pressed his unit and ran into the room. ‘Kayso, Foo pursued me around the space a few times, and I let him get me twice, sufficiently long to kiss me before I had to slap him-well, you know why-and flee. Be that as it may, as I was set up to let him figure I would give up to his masculine delectability, I'm all, â€Å"You could go me to a vamp and I could utilize my dim forces to scoop Chet's litter box of destruction.† What's more, Foo was all, â€Å"No screwing way. I don't know enough.† At that point somebody began beating on the entryway. What's more, not a little â€Å"Hey, what's up?† pound. Like there was a major deal on entryway pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Get one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. I know. WTF? Security much? Beating on the adoration refuge. JODY It resembled ceaseless â€Å"not very lunchtime† in her work space at the insurance agency, back in antiquated history, a quarter of a year prior, before she was a vampire. Each twilight, for around fifteen seconds, Jody arose and froze over the yearning and requirement until she had the option to will herself into fog and buoy in what she thought of as the blood dream, a wonderful, ethereal murkiness that went on until sunup, when her body went strong inside the metal shell and for every single useful reason, she turned out to be dead meat until nightfall came round once more. In any case, at some point around the finish of the principal seven day stretch of freakouts, she understood that she was contacting Tommy. That he was in the bronze shell with her, and not at all like her, he was unable to go to fog. She ought to have shown him, she knew, similarly as the old vampyre had shown her, however now it was past the point of no return. Possibly, since she was unable to m ove enough to tap a message with her finger in Morse code, not to mention talk, she could contact him, by one way or another interface with him clairvoyantly. Who recognized what sort of forces she may have that the old vampyre had neglected to delineate for her. She focused, pushed, even attempted to send a type of heartbeat to the spots where their skin contacted, yet all she got back was an all-encompassing, spiked, electric frenzy. Poor Tommy. He was there okay. Alive and pitilessly mindful. She attempted to contact him until she could bear the heaviness of her own craving and frenzy no more. â€Å"Abby, on the off chance that I ever leave, your restricted ass is mine,† she thought before blurring to fog and delighted departure. Auditor RIVERA It wasn't a murder, carefully, on the grounds that there was no body, yet there was a traffic implementation official lost without a trace, and it had included the Emperor and a specific square of light industry structures and craftsman lofts south of Market Street that Rivera had hailed for notice on the off chance that anything occurred there. Also, something had certainly occurred here, yet what? He lifted the neckline of the unfilled traffic official's uniform with the tip of his pen to affirm that the fine dark debris was not on the walkway underneath, and it wasn't. Inside the uniform, on the walkway at the sleeves and neckline of the uniform, truly, however not on the walkway under the uniform. â€Å"I don't see a crime,† said Nick Cavuto, Rivera's accomplice, who, on the off chance that he'd been a kind of frozen yogurt, would have been Gay Linebacker Crunch. â€Å"Sure, something occurred here, however it could have recently been kids. The Emperor is obviously nuts. Absolutely unreliable.† Rivera stood up and glanced around at the blood-splashed road, the cinders, the as yet blazing light on the stopping truck, and afterward at the Emperor and his mutts, who had their noses squeezed to the back window of their earthy colored, plain Ford car. Rivera's flavor was Low-fat Spanish Cynic in an Armani cone. â€Å"He said felines did this.† â€Å"Well there you go, an Animal Control issue. I'll call them.† Cavuto made an incredible demonstration of flipping open his portable and punching at the numbers with his thick hotdog fingers. Rivera shook his head and hunched over the unfilled uniform once more. He recognized what the powder was, and Cavuto realized what the powder was. Without a doubt, it had taken them several months, and a great deal of unsolved homicides, and viewing the old vampire take enough gunfire to kill a detachment of men, just to get by to kill about six additional individuals, yet they had at long last gotten on. â€Å"It wasn't cats,† Rivera said. â€Å"They vowed to leave,† Cavuto stated, delaying in his presentation of percussive dialing. â€Å"The dreadful young lady said they left town.† They, which means Jody and Tommy, who had vowed to le