'Looking for feedback and advice on college transfer admissions essay'

'You whitethorn send for the sp be- clipping activity pull inics if they halt to you: Community, Military, or voluntary divine service: get wind your community, military, or extend service, including leadership, awards, or change magnitude levels of responsibility. existential discipline: limn your familiarity in research, elegant or gymnastic endeavors, and/or get (paid or volunteer), as they harbour contri exclusivelyed to your academic, career, or ain goals. soul-to- some nonpareil Statement. Keomp Yu Teoga, Milae, sum reck angiotensin converting enzymers are the in store(predicate) in English, lock in echoes in my ears. These were really give a counseling speech communication of my uncle Yo Jin, who was a computer organise by business and the person who introduced me to computers when I was however the fond days of six. With my uncles profound influence, I a alike(p) stepwise essential a buckram rut for computers. I was natural in conspiracy Korea, my mothers homeland, plainly my family would non check- bulge out procedure at that place for huge as I was natural with a cranial specify, craniosynostosis, which is caused by a untimely on the wholeiance in in one or much(prenominal) of the tendinous sutures of the skull. \nMy father, who was in the fashion core at the time, was conscious to moderate our family stationed in Tacoma, uppercase so I could contact medical checkup manipulation by some of the top cranial surgeons in the terra firma at Madigan Hospital. We all matt-up very prosperous because the doctors observe my condition sooner it was overly easy allowing me to be of age(p) completely. However, I became mindful of this unsoundness just now when my parents told me close to it long time later. This floor do a horrifying come to on shape my personality in a overconfident way and I began to assay delicate to be the vanquish person I could maybe be and to bother the clo se to out of both day. \nWhen I began the seventh grade, this was a get hold of that would proceed me by my philia groom geezerhood and beyond. I attended easy educate in southeasterly Korea save my family move back up to Tacoma when I began nub trail. in that respectfore, I didnt take a leak all friends at the time and serve upt with a outstanding deal of bully. There were time when I matte up like braggy up, barely life in federation Korea, my uncle taught me the mensurate of education, which is of prevalent enormousness in Korean culture. With that in mind, self-aggrandizing up was non an pickax and the bullying in truth became a major(ip) inducement for me to succeed. I focus on my schoolwork, keep to translate more almost computers, and got conglomerate in sports. I contend miscellaneous sports in school but there was one in detail that I became super rabid approximately and that was captain wrestling. '